To Have and To Hold
by TheChimeraSculptress
Summary: Xena and Gabrielle share a special moment around the campfire. Just a short and sweet little story set near the end of the series.


This is a VERY old fanfic that I found on my PC and thought I'd share!

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To Have and To Hold

The night was warm and sultry, the sky an intense velveteen blue that seemed otherworldly as a million stars winked lovingly down at the two figures that sat before the comforting glow of a small fire. Even the blanket of night seemed to be pressing down closer to the earth in an attempt to listen in on their conversation, intrigued to know why their faces were so close as they talked, and why there was such intimacy in their fire-lit eyes.

An owl hooted from the forest trees that surrounded their camp and the smaller of the figures, a young woman with cropped golden hair and soft green eyes, swept her gaze across the silhouette of gently swaying trees.

Smiling, she gently whispered: 'an owl Xena.'

The second figure, taller than her friend, with a mane of glossy black hair and a forged passion in her striking ice-blue eyes returned the smile, slightly bemused. 'I can see the bard has learnt much from me over the years.' But her smile was swiftly quenched when she noticed the seriousness in her companion's face. Reaching across a hand to tenderly caress the top of the woman's naked shoulder she added: 'what is it Gabrielle?'

Gabrielle turned from the forest and met Xena's concerned eyes.

'The first time I heard an owl's cry I was five years old. It woke me from a beautiful child's dream,' she shrugged dismissively as a wistful smile tugged at her lips. 'The sort that would involve lots of presents and fluffy animals and cute things like that.'

Xena raised an amused eyebrow but remained silent.

Gabrielle sighed quietly, seeming suddenly distant. 'But after the owl woke me, practically scaring the life out of me in the process, I couldn't dream things like that again.'

Her raven-haired friend watched her curiously before frowning. 'What? For the rest of that night? That's pretty normal.'

Gabrielle's eyes glistened at the memory. 'No. Never again.'

Xena's hand ran down her friend's arm to her hand and she squeezed it gently. 'You've never mentioned this before.'

Gabrielle took a deep breath. 'After all what's happened, us being entombed for twenty years, Joxer being killed, facing the wrath of the gods, I feel that I can't trust time any more. The life we lead Xena, is not without it's risks and I don't want things left unsaid.'

A flicker of fear crossed Xena's face. 'What kind of things?'

The bard's gaze suddenly hardened, but it wasn't directed at her friend, more at the subject matter itself. 'I want you to know that I was aware of the dark-side long before you came into my life. From the moment I heard that owl all those years ago and lay shaking like a leaf beneath my bed covers, something awoke within me, an awareness of all things, good as well as bad.'

Their small fire chose that moment to spit violently and a flurry of burnt embers flared up into the night. Xena stretched across her sword to stoke up the charring pile of kindling.

'Of course, I don't live in fear of the owl's cry anymore,' Gabrielle admitted quickly. ' In fact I'm quite in awe of it now. But I wanted you to know that. You fret so much about robbing me of my innocence and bringing me into a world of darkness, but, deep down, I know I would have experienced it with or without your help.' Gabrielle squeezed Xena's hand this time. 'And I honestly believe that without you it would have been darker.'

As they parted Xena's gaze intensified. 'Thank you Gabrielle.'

'For what?'

'For being you.'

The bard grinned, slightly embarrassed. 'What? You mean full of sentimental nonsense?'

Xena shook her head as a shadow of doubt passed her face. 'No, a breath of fresh air when life becomes suffocating.'

'Is it suffocating now?'

'What? With you by my side?' Xena looked shocked by the idea. 'Never Gabrielle. These are the only moments when everything does become clear and I feel the lightness within me.'

Gabrielle closed her eyes and sighed softly. 'You don't know how good it makes me feel hearing you say those words.'

Xena shrugged, eyes fleetingly mischievous as Gabrielle met them again. 'I suppose I brought darkness to your light, and you brought light to my darkness. It's been a shared experience.'

'Been?' the Bard hesitated. 'You speak as if it's going to end.'

'You said yourself that you can't trust time anymore. I'm pretty much the same. Sometimes I feel so weary of the open road, that uncertainty of tomorrow. The time spent on the farm with Ares stirred something in me that I've never felt before, a yearning to settle in one place. To watch the sun rise and set from the same window; to just grow old in peace.' Xena stared deep into the fire, mesmerised by the dancing flames, at the same time conscious of her friend's gaze upon her. 'I used to thrive on the bad times, the challenge and the danger, but now -' she sighed quietly - 'now everything's different.'

'We're different,' Gabrielle insisted gently. 'We've changed with each bad time, each adventure. We've became stronger, wiser, more caring, yet hardened too.' Gabrielle conjured a nostalgic smile. 'But for every bad time there's been an equally good time.'

Xena turned to meet her gaze once more, her mouth stretching into a beautiful smile. 'And I'd go through every bad time again to relive those special moments.' She hesitated before adding: 'with you.'

Reaching out their hands they interlocked fingers, staring deep into one another's eyes. As the firelight patterned them with dancing shadow no words were spoken, no further gestures were offered. The exchange they shared provoked far greater emotions than words ever could.

Eventually the Bard sought out the depths of her heart, despite being assailed by conflicting emotions of joy and sorrow. 'I love you Xena.'

'I love you too, Gabrielle.'

'No matter what happens, whatever time throws at us, we'll always be together.' The Bard's words almost sounded like a question, as if she was seeking approval from her dark haired friend.

'Forever,' Xena returned firmly although her words were spoken in little more than a hoarse whisper.

They watched in stunned silence as a shooting star cut through the perfect night sky and they were suddenly filled with hope, certain that it represented something special; that perhaps Eli's God had some plan for them after all. And for once, touched by the love they displayed so ardently, time indulged them.

For a split second it stopped.


End file.
